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Saturday, December 29, 2012

In Remembrance


After I did a post on Kasab, it seems unthinkable and almost disrespectful that I should not archive my feelings on the Delhi gang rape case and the unfortunate young soul who lost her life, while an entire nation prayed hard for her recovery.

Thanks to Facebook, people , including myself, have already exhausted their ideas on a wide range of intellectual topics including appropriate crisis behavior, women, society, morals blah blah blah.

This post is for emotions.

First for the unnamed individual who lost her life in a tragedy that is unthinkable for all of us. I insist on calling her an individual as opposed to a girl or a woman as this gender distinction is what got us into this mess in the first place. I feel for her deeply. I respect her zeal for life and her brave struggle past all odds to continue to live. And I respect her for wanting to stay alive above all else. The cruelest part to me, seems the fact that she never lost consciousness and communicated with her parents and doctors throughout the course of her treatment. What thoughts must have gone through her mind then? How much anguish her young heart must have felt, to even contemplate the possibility of an oncoming death? How terribly she wanted to stay alive and repeatedly told so to every one around her. It hurts me to even consider her last moments. It hurts me to know that there was someone, who was ready to fight, to survive and was denied the chance because the odds against her were far too much. It is heart wrenching to even think of her parents, who watched their daughter slip away from them. How hard must it have been for her father to see how much his daughter wanted to live and still be helpless to do anything. How helpless he must have felt to be unable to protect his daughter, to tell her that everything would be all right, that he was here to save her. As a parent, it must be very hard to see your flesh and blood struggle over the littlest of things. It takes my breath away to think how her parents must have felt to watch her struggle to stay alive.

What was the need for her to die? She was a 23 yr old medical student. Her family had pinned their hopes on her. They had sold their property for her education : this is unheard of in India, to spend all money over a girl's education. If there is existence after this life, I can only imagine the anguish her soul must feel, to be so unable to fulfill all the dreams that she had cherished in life.

Then my thoughts go to her assailants. All six of them. Are they regretful? People have talked a lot of inventive and cruel punishments that can be devised for these ....individuals. But what's the use of all that? I am somewhat happy as the next person, that the government has woken up in light of the mass protests and public outrage that has erupted as a result of this incident. But I can't help but feel that we can do more than just make an exemplary martyr out of the one who has passed on.

I want somebody to ask these six men if they feel any remorse. If the tales of the young lady's struggle for survival and the extent of her injuries, which none know better than these six gentlemen, bring a single drop of tears to their eyes. Do they feel guilty at all? Or are they just sorry they got caught? would any of them wish the same misfortunes on their own relatives? If they had daughters of their own, would they be able to do what they did to her? Forget what the populace wants, don't they themselves feel that they should be hung?

I read a quote by Lord Buddha somewhere, which goes something like this : When an arrow is shot, one should concentrate on how to remove the poison, rather than where the arrow came from.

Ideally I agree. Even though the young woman is no more, the poison remains with her family members and the thousands of protesters who gathered night and day in big cities and towns alike to pray for her soul. It's all nice that people are taking steps to curb rape and do this and do that. But I hope, they won't forget her. And her family.

I wonder how many tears her mother must have shed by now. I wonder how her parents and siblings are able to sleep at night, knowing the hell their beloved daughter went through. I hope somebody heals them as well. I hope they pull through this horrid nightmare and find happiness and peace. I hope people and the government don't forget them. According to the papers, they were a very poor family and their daughter had taken responsibility on her own shoulders to better the conditions of her family. Now that her shoulders aren't around, I hope the govt, takes up this responsibility. So that someone who is no longer with us, may feel a little less unhappy for being denied the right to try.

Dear sister, I don't know you, your name, what made you happy, what your dreams and hopes were, what you wanted to do in life. But I will shed tears for you and for all the pain and indignity you went through, and all the unfulfilled dreams you had. Nothing we do now can compare or compensate for your loss. But I hope you find peace and I hope your parents regain their strength to move on in life. Sorry.