One of the joys of having cousins in marriageable age bracket, is that the topic of matrimony websites crop up all too frequently, providing me with some unintentional moments of despair and hilarity.
I will ask for forgiveness from all earnestly nice people out there, who post in such websites. I laugh more at the irony of this situation than at anyone in particular. And to my knowledge, some of these arranged marriages have all worked out really well. Touchwood. And also I laugh at me. Because in reflection, my amusement at the prospect of arranged marriages kind of has resemblance to how a goat would derive amusement at the sight of a slaughter house.
Anyway, back to cousins and matrimonial websites. So we made a spoof girl account, to search an eligible bride for our eldest cousin brother. It makes more sense to make a boy account if you're going to be looking for a bride. But I just couldn't do it. I am not that saintly.Anyway, we gave up trying to help him after the initial few profiles. He's so nitpicky and choosy. The problem is people are so quick to jump at flaws in other people, while being very blatantly myopic about themselves.
That being said, a few days back, I had made and then subsequently deleted a post bemoaning the abundance of "simple boy with a love for canoeing, looking for that simple girl to share life's little joys with". (Yes,I am not sure, if they are looking for a girl to marry or share a bar of chocolate with.)My point was there were not enough complex people. Even if I were being extremely modest, it goes without saying,I consider myself the paragon of wit and all things nice. Ha. So, really I deserve something more complex. Like say, .....ehh...a complex thing. Sorry, literary creativity eludes me at the moment.
So, I was shown a complex profile.Here are some noteworthy mentions :
"I am working as a SAC with a BIG SAP firm in NYC and my younger sister is a fashion designer from NIFT (place) and NID (place) currently working with HUL (place) married to an IIT-(place) and IIM Alumnus.
In my spare time I like to keep track of stocks.
Preferred clothing : Business formals, only leading designer brands will do."
*a moment of silence*
In my spare time, I like to look at funny animal videos...I really wonder how all of these abbreviations are in anyway conducive to a happy domestic life. Once again, goat to the slaughter house imagery comes to me. I would say lamb to the slaughter. But we're bengalis. We slaughter goats. I am not even sure we have lambs available in the country.
And talking about abbreviations that determine merit, how can I forget the paragon of them all...the NRI's. What a race of supremely talented and meritorious,elitist individuals. I am appalled at how gender biased people can be, when your own relatives say,"We will find you a nice NRI guy just like your sister,you will be so happy then."
One of these days I will probably say something like this : I dont need a fucking NRI, I am a fucking NRI and I can make my fucking happiness by my fucking self and I don't need anyone else's fucking money for that..........More tea? Needless to say, right after I say this, I will probably have to put up ads for my own adoption in the classifieds.