In Remembrance

After I did a post on Kasab, it seems unthinkable and almost disrespectful that I should not archive my feelings on the Delhi gang rape case and the unfortunate young soul who lost her life, while an entire nation prayed hard for her recovery.

Thanks to Facebook, people , including myself, have already exhausted their ideas on a wide range of intellectual topics including appropriate crisis behavior, women, society, morals blah blah blah.

This post is for emotions.

First for the unnamed individual who lost her life in a tragedy that is unthinkable for all of us. I insist on calling her an individual as opposed to a girl or a woman as this gender distinction is what got us into this mess in the first place. I feel for her deeply. I respect her zeal for life and her brave struggle past all odds to continue to live. And I respect her for wanting to stay alive above all else. The cruelest part to me, seems the fact that she never lost consciousness and communicated with her parents and doctors throughout the course of her treatment. What thoughts must have gone through her mind then? How much anguish her young heart must have felt, to even contemplate the possibility of an oncoming death? How terribly she wanted to stay alive and repeatedly told so to every one around her. It hurts me to even consider her last moments. It hurts me to know that there was someone, who was ready to fight, to survive and was denied the chance because the odds against her were far too much. It is heart wrenching to even think of her parents, who watched their daughter slip away from them. How hard must it have been for her father to see how much his daughter wanted to live and still be helpless to do anything. How helpless he must have felt to be unable to protect his daughter, to tell her that everything would be all right, that he was here to save her. As a parent, it must be very hard to see your flesh and blood struggle over the littlest of things. It takes my breath away to think how her parents must have felt to watch her struggle to stay alive.

What was the need for her to die? She was a 23 yr old medical student. Her family had pinned their hopes on her. They had sold their property for her education : this is unheard of in India, to spend all money over a girl's education. If there is existence after this life, I can only imagine the anguish her soul must feel, to be so unable to fulfill all the dreams that she had cherished in life.

Then my thoughts go to her assailants. All six of them. Are they regretful? People have talked a lot of inventive and cruel punishments that can be devised for these ....individuals. But what's the use of all that? I am somewhat happy as the next person, that the government has woken up in light of the mass protests and public outrage that has erupted as a result of this incident. But I can't help but feel that we can do more than just make an exemplary martyr out of the one who has passed on.

I want somebody to ask these six men if they feel any remorse. If the tales of the young lady's struggle for survival and the extent of her injuries, which none know better than these six gentlemen, bring a single drop of tears to their eyes. Do they feel guilty at all? Or are they just sorry they got caught? would any of them wish the same misfortunes on their own relatives? If they had daughters of their own, would they be able to do what they did to her? Forget what the populace wants, don't they themselves feel that they should be hung?

I read a quote by Lord Buddha somewhere, which goes something like this : When an arrow is shot, one should concentrate on how to remove the poison, rather than where the arrow came from.

Ideally I agree. Even though the young woman is no more, the poison remains with her family members and the thousands of protesters who gathered night and day in big cities and towns alike to pray for her soul. It's all nice that people are taking steps to curb rape and do this and do that. But I hope, they won't forget her. And her family.

I wonder how many tears her mother must have shed by now. I wonder how her parents and siblings are able to sleep at night, knowing the hell their beloved daughter went through. I hope somebody heals them as well. I hope they pull through this horrid nightmare and find happiness and peace. I hope people and the government don't forget them. According to the papers, they were a very poor family and their daughter had taken responsibility on her own shoulders to better the conditions of her family. Now that her shoulders aren't around, I hope the govt, takes up this responsibility. So that someone who is no longer with us, may feel a little less unhappy for being denied the right to try.

Dear sister, I don't know you, your name, what made you happy, what your dreams and hopes were, what you wanted to do in life. But I will shed tears for you and for all the pain and indignity you went through, and all the unfulfilled dreams you had. Nothing we do now can compare or compensate for your loss. But I hope you find peace and I hope your parents regain their strength to move on in life. Sorry.

Happy Birthday Baba !

So,I am known in my family as the one that doesn't remember anyone else's birthdays save her own. It is partially true. I didn't. Never could. But that was during my childhood and teenage years. Those were trying times. I had my identity crisis phase, closely followed by the gender crisis phase, eventually ending with teenage high school drama phase and the dreaded pimple on nose phase. There were some phase overlaps, making things just that much worse.

BUT. I remember all birthdays nowwww >.< And all my efforts are put to waste because my family keeps giving me reminders 10-15 days ahead of time, each time there's a birthday around the corner. Its actually very bad that your family has such low expectations of you And I did tell them that I remember all the birthdays now. They give me reminders nonetheless
Anyway....

Dear baba, happy birthday to you and hope you have many more happy ones in the future. For me, I will pray to God to give you a long life ( also drop your smoking habit)and to make me the son you want to be proud of. While, I'm at it, I will also pray my brother gets all the chances to succeed and make you proud like you have given me. And some more happiness for maa as well. Amen.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I really don't remember anyone else's birthday. But that's why you have Facebook !!

Obituary.

In a surprisingly quick and low profile move, the Govt. of India carried out sentencing for Ajmal Kasab, who had been awarded the death penalty some four years back following the Mumbai terror attacks in 2008.

I wasn't in India when it happened and all of my relatives were thankfully in and around Kolkata. So personally, I was not affected at all. This perhaps gives me no right to then comment on the historic attack which apparently killed 166 people and injured 300 others...changing uncountable lives in the process. But after reading some surprisingly insensitive hanging related puns tagged #kasab on twitter and facebook, I kind of felt sorry for .....a whole lot of people.

Starting with this poor kid's (he was 25 as of today) mother. Apparently, Kasab's family members were informed via a courier letter. I wonder how they must have felt. It is ,I believe, unimaginably hard to lose an offspring. I think the pain is even more unbearable when you lose an offspring and no one sympathizes with you.It also must be very painful to be the mother of the son whose death was celebrated by an entire nation. My heart goes out to her, regardless of her son's indiscretions.

Also, it would be an insult to not mention the 166 unfortunate souls from 2008. I don't know how many mothers lost their offsprings that day. I wonder if those people have healed at all, even though it has been four years.

I also wonder how Kasab himself felt when his mercy petition was rejected and a copy of his certified execution statement was handed to him. He was 25. Wikipedia says Kasab hailed from a middle class family in rural Lahore and his father sold street-food for a living. Apparently , he was offered an amount which roughly equals to a meager three thousand U.S dollars for participating in the terrorist attacks. Ironically, Kasab was informed that there is greatness and glory in killing (I'm assuming infidels) and then being killed. The money was to be transferred to his family after his death. I wonder how much truth there is in this statement. Not to sound like a bleeding heart, but maybe there was some humanity present in him, which made him take up such a project to earn money for his family. Who knows. I shouldn't be making idealized judgements like that. I spent five minutes researching on wikipedia about Kasab before writing this article. I am sure the Supreme court of India was a lot more well-informed about his intentions than I am ever likely to be.

According to the supreme court, death penalty was awarded to Kasab amid much deliberation and several controversies as "enormity of the crime in all scales left it with no other option". Even if I am, as a person, against the death penalty, I recognize the full impact of the fact that the court really had no other option. Even if Kasab had spent a full life of repentment, it would not have been enough to compensate for all the lives destroyed.Though, let it also be said, all anyone managed to do, was hang a pawn.He is of little consequence to either side of the battle. But for his ignorant deeds countless people, including his own family, will suffer.

An ideal way to substitute the death penalty would be perhaps,(in my opinion), extreme counselling, where the criminals really and earnestly repent and not just out of fear for their skin. But ideals don't exist in the real world. And who has the time to counsel people like a psychologist with all the faith of a vicar. It is a waste of effort. Not because I think that this method won't work. But because I know if anyone had such skills, they would be put to better use counselling trauma and depression patients...not parenting criminals.

Oh well. Just food for thought. The #kasab jokes really made me think. Incidentally the UN has started a new proposal on banning the death penalty in countries. I have mixed feelings.

Edit : "Allah kasam maaf karna. Aisi galati dobara nahi hogi...(Allah, please forgive me, this mistake won't happen again)." -- Ajmal Kasab, minutes before his execution.(TOI) R.I.P 166+1

Individuality,Women and Ayn Rand.

(Note : Contents of this post are merely my opinions, not facts or theories or accusations and should not be taken as such.)
When Ayn Rand was introduced as a topic in our Philosophy class, I had developed an instant dislike. A modern philosopher and a celebrated woman in her field, Rand represented , according to some, the voice of individualism, the ambassador for individual rights and a staunch believer of capitalism. And being a female philosopher holding her own in a field majorly dominated by men, she deserved respect.
Some people mistook her for an ardent feminist, or as they were called, a blue stocking. She was not. Clearly. And that's where my dislike took root. Not because she was not a feminist. Even I could not be bothered to take up that lost cause unless it suits me . And let him not cast the first stone, one who lives in a glass house. But, I disliked her, because Ayn Rand, despite her modernist, self serving, individualistic ideas, was a thorough chauvinist, a trait which I wonder if she even realized she had but a trait which effected her opinions and subsequently, theories, greatly.
I read and watched a few of her interviews for class. They were all illuminating. She was , undoubtedly a very interesting and forceful personality. One of her more controversial and enjoyable interview was the one with Phil Donahue, in 1979. Below is a transcribed excerpt from Ms Rand's Q and A session with the audience :
"Do you believe, there's gonna be a day, where, in the white house, there will be a female, as president?How would you feel about that?"
Rand : "I wouldn't vote for her."
-insert public outcry and dismay here-
"Would you not vote for her,because she was a woman, even if she were better qualified than any man?"
Rand : "If it falls that low, I might."I will tell you why....it is not to a women's best interest to rule man. It puts her in a very unhappy position.I don't believe, that any good woman would want that position."

The audience in that live studio had a similar outcome to the students in our class when the video was shown to us. Instant rejection and outrage. Even the Youtube comments were distinctly unflattering. Which made me want to know more about the person and understand why she made such strong statements, willfully inviting condemnation and ire on national television. Ayn Rand was no fool, after all.
Clarifications came from Rand herself, in her newsletter compilation turned book, "The Objectivist."

"For a woman qua woman, the essence of femininity is hero-worship—the desire to look up to man. “To look up” does not mean dependence, obedience or anything implying inferiority. It means an intense kind of admiration; and admiration is an emotion that can be experienced only by a person of strong character and independent value-judgments. A “clinging vine” type of woman is not an admirer, but an exploiter of men. Hero-worship is a demanding virtue: a woman has to be worthy of it and of the hero she worships. Intellectually and morally, i.e., as a human being, she has to be his equal; then the object of her worship is specifically his masculinity, not any human virtue she might lack."[1]

It wasn't just ordinary chauvinism. It was chauvinism at its extreme. And it was chauvinism without any logical reason. So apparently, if there were two individuals, lets say, a man and a woman. And they are both endowed with the same superlative virtuous qualities, and the woman is the man's equal in any and all human virtue, she ought to still admire the man, based on his masculinity.

There is no winning this argument. Unless you grow a pair. If you know what I mean.

Rand's definition of the perfect woman also creeped up into her fictions. In both of her famous works, "The Fountainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged", the lead males and females epitomize her ideals. The male protagonist invariably is the shining beacon of individualism, rising over the squalor of mediocrity and the sea of greed, politics, indifference and general lack of merit without a scratch. He has every larger than life merit to his name and grandiose ideas on how the world should be. Even his adversaries are all in awe of his superlative talents and conspicuously over- polished individuality.
Then we have the female lead. A strong personality and a perfect match for the hero as she matches him wit for wit -- thereby justifying why the hero picks her, of course. But just as the picking has commenced and the deed is done..literally....her personality deserts her faster than you can make a cup of instant noodles. Overnight, a strong woman is turned into a mopey mess who has lost all zeal for life and lives to periodically aid or thwart (depending on her mood swings now) the hero in his quest, all the while pining for a lost love that is apparently too good for her.
Obviously, by the end of the story said epitome of superlative goodness gets his way and the girl, with some invisible force funding for everything. 
It seemed, the hero and his lady love were not just figments of Rand's imagination. They were different aspects of her personality. The hero was what she ideally hoped  to be herself. The iron clad determination ,exemplary will power and firm control of emotions found in her protagonists were traits she not only admired but also cultivated in herself. The hero was who her platonic mind aspired to be. On the other hand, the heroine was a blend of power and dependence. Rand's romanticized notions of femininity adored the conservative ideals of life and tilted power balance between a man and a woman. The heroine was thus, who she wanted to be. Aspirations come from ideals, want comes from need. The rest is guesswork.

Ayn Rand is a staunch believer for individualism. She was also a romantic at heart. And thus her views, while non traditional, lacked the stability only an impartial observer could give. I think this is the reason none of her opinions got the validations of a proper theory.

Her peculiar thoughts on women kind of inspired me to look further....straight into her personal life, courtesy wikipedia and some other sheeznits. Despite belonging to a conservative era, Ms Rand followed her heart. And I say this mildly. Her life was the material for films. During her long and only marriage to Frank O' Connor, Rand had also been very close to long time friend and publicist Nathaniel Branden. The closeness was deemed less than appropriate on a number of levels. They were both married, and not to each other. And he was twenty five years her junior. Also, they were all family friends. 
Consider the level of ardor, which would have compelled a strong woman in the very conservative fifties, to throw all caution to the winds and engage in an affair with her married family friend who was old enough to be her son.Knowing that such a move would disrupt four lives in the process. It goes without saying that the sense of compulsion that she felt in pursuing the affair, and also, the accompanying romantic notions may have also colored her philosophy. The affair lasted quite long, and with the knowledge of everyone involved (happily or otherwise). 
I wonder what would have happened had she been a jilted lover instead. Would she have turned into a man-hating spinster? Have you heard of the saying, "The fox says, the grapes are too sour" ?
Ideally, for a philosopher's words to hold any merit, it is imperative that such a person be impartial so that while making verdicts on human behavior, he may look at his subjects from an outsider's point of view.
A certain level of detachment, is therefore required. Of course , not too detached that he does not even recognize the feelings in his subjects, let alone categorize them properly.  And also, not so deeply involved like Rand, to be unable to distinguish between theories and personal choices. 

Bah I could continue on this tirade for so long. I wish I did it when my paper was due -.- Maybe I will add moar to this post laters xD

The Ministry of Magical Insurance

A new idea I am playing with, seeing as I really have too much free time on my hands this semester.
Imagine there was an actual department of Health care/health insurance in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Shown below, are two specimen letters, that may have been sent out to two individuals, somewhere after Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts.

Letter I

Dear Mr. Harry James Potter,

We are very sorry to inform you , that at this time, we do not have any health insurance coverage plans to offer to you. Our sources indicate your life is too much of a liability. Please contact your primary healthcare provider and/or refer to alternate means of coverage as soon as possible.

On a completely irrelevant note, good luck with you-know-who.

Sincerely,

The Ministry of Magical Insurance.

Healthcare division.

Letter II

Dear Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle, Jr.,

Our heartiest congratulations on your come-back! But we regret to inform you, that the medical surgeries/ alterations/transplants you went through ,at the time of your resurrection, were unfortunately not covered by your healthcare plan as we have no policies to deal with life after death scenarios. Also, your last policy with us expired fourteen years ago.

Please find alternative methods of payment and contact us at your earliest convenience for further negotiating your current policy status.

Sincerely,

The Ministry of Magical Insurance.

Healthcare division.

I just might turn this into a series of parodies if I get enough ideas. 

On that note, I would also like to add, I find the Insurance policies for international students in our school to be very limiting, complicated, useless,expensive,aggravating. Not to mention useless and expensive. 

Did I say useless? 

-.-

আমার খুব বাংলা লিখতে ইচ্ছা করছে ।

আমার খুব বাংলা লিখতে ইচ্ছা করছে । জয় বাবা গুগল ।

যাই হোক , আজ ফেইসবুক এ সব বন্ধুদের ছবি দেখে খুব মন খারাপ লাগছিল।পুজো season এর এই ঝামেলা। সবাই সেজে গুজে বেরিয়ে ছবি তুলে পোস্ট করে এবং আমার মতো যারা বাইরে আছে দেশ ছাড়া হয়ে , এবং হটাত করে যাদের গার্ডিয়ান -রা এই কুক্ষণেই স্বদেশ যাত্রা করে, তাদের খুবই  মন খারাপ হব স্বাভাবিক। আমার ও হয়েছিল। তবে বন্ধুদের জন্য কম, আর বিভিন্ন খাদ্য দ্রব্য দেখে বেশি। তাও ভাগ্য ভালো কিছু রান্না শিখেছি নয়তো পুজোর সেই একটা দিন ও পাউরুটি খেয়ে কাটাতে হত। 

বাড়ির মিসিং লিস্ট :

অবশ্যই মা বাবা ভাই জেঠু জেঠি, দাদা, ঠাকুমা মাসি গণ  : যদিও skype এর দয়া তে অতটাও মিস করি না - রোজ এ ভিডিও তে দেখছি- গেলে তো মিস করবো। 

বন্ধুরা : যদিও ফেইসবুক এর দয়া তে সামান্য কম মিস করি। তবে বাড়ি গিয়ে আড্ডা দেবা আর মেসেজ এর জন্য অপেক্ষা করার মধ্যে পার্থক্য আছে ।

পুজো : কোথায় এখান-এর এই এক দিন এ নাম মাত্র পুজো আর কথায় ওখানকার এক মাস এর ইউফোরিয়া । পুজোর নতুন জামা কেনা তো এখানে লাটে উঠেছে। 

বাংলা গল্পের বই : আমি এক মূর্তিমান ,যে এতদূর এ টেনি -দার বই টা বয়ে নিয়ে এসেছি। কিন্তু এক এ বই আর কতবার পরা যায় ?

খাবার : রান্না করতে শিখেছি বাস , শেফ তো হয়ে যাইনি। তাই শেষ মোগলাই তা পাঁচ বছর আগে খাব হয়েছিল। ফুচকা র কথা তো বাদ দিলাম। খালি কুল এর আঁচার এর সন্ধান পেয়েছিলাম কিছু দিন আগে ..courtesy বাংলাদেশ। তাও আবার মা শুনে বললো ," সরস্বতী পুজো 'র আগে কুল খাবি? খাস না , বারণ। কপাল। 

গান এর দিদিমুনি : ইসসস ১০ বছর এসে গান শিখিয়ে গেল প্রত্যেক মঙ্গলবার ওদিকে আমার কিচ্ছু মনে নেই। গান এর খাতা টার ই বা কি হলো কে জানে। আশাকরি হারায়নি। প্রাকটিস করি চাই ফাকি মারি, ছিল তো ১০ বছর এর combined শিক্ষা। মা কে বললে খচে যাবে যদিও। "এতদিন প্রাকটিস করনি, এখন মনে খই ফুটছে হতাৎ ? প্রেম করেছ বুঝি? কে সেই ছেলে? নিশ্চই তোর্ ওই স্কুল এর ছেলে টা ...সারাদিন ফাজলামি করতো আর তোকে ফোন করে তোকে ও পড়তে দিত না। আমি জানতাম এই হবে ! ওর জন্যই তর মাধমিক পরীক্ষা বাজে গেছিলো ....এখনো করবি বাজে। আমি কি করবো , যা মনে আসে কর।"

হতাৎ করে আর মিস করছি না। lol 

কাহিনী

মেয়েদের একটা খুব বাজে স্বভাব আছে। অল্পতেই স্বপ্ন দেখা চালু করে এবং সেই স্বপ্ন গুলো যা তাড়াতাড়ি এবং যা detail দিয়ে বানানো হয় , তা Inception ফিল্ম -টির থেকে কোনো অংশে কম না । কিন্তু যত সময় যায় , দেখতে পাচ্ছি এই শক্তি টার ততই ক্ষয় হয়। এখন তো আর teenager নাই , বয়স বাড়ছে দিন কে দিন , এখন হটাত কাউকে দেখলে চটকরে গত্রান্তরিত হতে আর ইচ্ছা করে না।মনে পরে যায় ক্লাস টেন এর সেই বাচ্চা-টার কথা , বাচ্চা -ই বললাম । আজকের তুলনায় অনেক বেশী পার্থক্য আছে -- পার্থক্য গুলো যদিও খালি ছবি তে এবং বাবার দীর্ঘশাস এই দেখি। এই কাহিনী -টি হাস্য-কৌতুক হিসেব-এই নেওয়া উচিত। জড়িত ব্যাক্তি-দের ও এখন মনে পড়লে হাসি পায় , তো দর্শক দের হাসতে ক্ষতি কি।

আমাদের স্কুল টা ছিল co -ed । এবং আমি বড় হবার পর, সেটি হয়ে গেল আমার জননীর সব চেয়ে বড় মাথা ব্যাথা। বাড়ি তে এত ছেলে ফোন করে কেন? কি জালাতন। মেয়ে টা কোথায় মন দিয়ে পড়বে , তা না সারাদিন bsnl এর ব্যাবসা বাড়াচ্ছে ! এমন ও না, যে ফোন খুব বেশি মধুর বাত্রালাপ হত। ফার্স্ট crush জীবনের, খুব ই awkward বাপার সাপার। কারুর ই বলার বিশেষ কিছু ছিল না , কোন টিচার কাকে বকলো,কোন ছেলে কোন ভয়ানক অংকের টিচার এর কাছে মার খেল , আমি থার্ড পিরিয়ড এ ওই অন্য ছেলে টার সাথে কি নিয়ে হাসা হাসি করছিলাম। ( অন্য ছেলেটির ফ্রি তে character assassination included ), ও ফোর্থ পিরিয়ড এ ওই অন্য section এর মেয়ে-টার সাথে কি নিয়ে কথা বলছিল ( again ফ্রি তে লম্বা excuse included ), কোন টিউশন এ কটার সময় ...এই সব ভেরি trite জিনিস। তাও মা চার বছর ধরে বুঝতে পারলেন না , এরম ফালতু কথা কেউ কি করে দুপুর এ দুই ঘন্টা ফোন-এ ,বিকেল-এ দুই ঘন্টা orkut -এ and বাকি সারাদিন স্কুল এ থেকেও বলেও শেষ করতে পারে না।

যাই হোক , এরম ই এক ফোন সেশন এ , এই কাহিনী'-টির ইতি ও লেখা ছিল । মা যা দিন এর পর দিন বকা দিয়ে ঠিক করতে পারেনি, বাবা-র এক unplanned presence -ই সেটা ঠিক করে দিল।

কোনো এক আকস্মিক রবিবার । বাবা tour থেকে ফিরে নিজের মনে t v দেখতে ব্যাস্ত , হতাৎ ল্যান্ডলাইন এ timely বেজে উঠলো ফোন, এবং আমার এলো জর। ভগবান এর নাম নিয়ে বললাম হ্যালো।

অমুক : তোকে একটা খুব জরুরী কথা বলার ছিল।

আমি : -( মনে মনে: weather সম্বন্ধে আশা করি ) ও , কি হয়েছে , বলে ফেল।

অমুক: না , সবাই বলছিল তোকে বলেই দিতে .....

আমি : ( মনে মনে: তা বলার আর এর থেকে ভালো সময় পেলে না ? হে ভগবান রক্ষা করো ) : হমমমম , বল

অমুক: না মানে সবাই বলছিল বলেই দিতে যে আমি তোকে পছন্দ করি ...

আমি : ( মনে মনে : YES ! YES ! YES !YES !YES !......এই রে hang on , বাবা আছে ...omg !)

ঠিক তখন ই -

বাবা : কার ফোন?

আমি : এই .....এমনি .....বন্ধুর . - insert casual shrug, bored face and indifferent tone here- ( মনে মনে : তোমার future জামাই-এর :D !!!!!! )

-back to the phone -

অমুক : তা .....?

আমি : ( মনে মনে : হে ভগবান , আমায় টেলিপ্যাথি'র শক্তি দাও , বা একে বোঝাও সামনে বাবা, রেড এলার্ট!!) আচ্ছা , mechanics -এর ওই অঙ্ক টা বুঝেছিলি ? স্যার বোর্ড এ করলো কালকে ?"

অমুক : মানে ...???

আমি : ও হা , দারা , বই দেখে বলছি ।

আরও ৫ মিনিট পর সেই ফোন কল শেষ হলো, বেচারা অঙ্ক বোঝালো , আমি কিছু শুনিনি তো বোঝা বহু দুরের কথা , মনে মনে ভাবছিলাম নতুন লাস্ট নাম ta কেরম মানায় ।ফোন শেষ হলে, বাবা-র সাথে বসে tv দেখতে দেখতে অপেক্ষা করলাম , বাবা কখন বাইরে যাবে, যাতে আমি কাউকে ফোন করে বলতে পারি মেকানিক্স এ আমার এক ফোটা ও interest nai।কোনো দিন এ ছিল না, সাবজেক্ট তা নিয়ে এ ছিলাম কারুর সাথে এক এ ক্লাস এ থাকবার জন্য।

প্রাইভেসী'র অপেক্ষা করতে গিয়ে দুপুর গড়িয়ে বিকাল হলো, বিকাল শেষ হয়ে সন্ধা হলো, বাবা গেল বন্ধু দের সাথে আড্ডা মারতে, মা ওপরতালা থেকে নিচে নেমে আসল ... ভাই কে পড়তে বসাতে হবে ... কপাল। তাও excitement এ সারাদিন এক ফোটা ও ভাটা আসেনি । সারা দিন দাত বার করে নিজের মনে হেসে গেছি ....সেটা কারুর সন্দেহজনক মনে হইনি, আমি ছিলাম এ একটু হাসিয়ে প্রকিতির ।

সন্ধের সময় ফোন আসল আরেক বন্ধুর । দু বছরের নতুন আলাপ, কিন্তু তাও খুব এ ঘনিষ্ঠ , সবচেয়ে মনের কথা গুলো আগে এসে আমায় বলত।

বন্ধু: আমার কাছে দারুণ খবর আছে !

আমি: হাহা , আমার কাছে ও আছে, কিন্তু তুই আগে বল।

বন্ধু: ঠিক হায় ! রেডি? অমুক propose করলো। I said yess !! দারুন লাগছে । আমার এত দিন মনে হত ও তোকে পছন্দ করত, তোরা সারাদিন এত বকবক করতিস।আমার তখন খুব jealous লাগতো । আমি চিন্তা এ করিনি, he likes me, হাহাহা ....এবার তোর টার্ন , বল কি দারুন খবর?? আজকে কি দারুন দিন না?

আমি : yea , weather-টা দারুন , congratulations !! ফুচকা খাবাতে হবে কিন্তূ !

বন্ধু : সে তো অবশ্যই , কিন্তু তর খবর তা বল এবার !

আমি : টিচার's day এর শাড়ি পেয়ে গেছি! দারুন দেখতে !

বন্ধু: Nice !!

হতাৎ মনে পরে গেল। ভাই এর এখন ঠিক পনেরো ছেড়ে ষোলো ছুই ছুই। মেয়েটার নাম দেবলীনা। মা'র আবার মাথা ধরেছে।

আমার কথা আলাদা, ২৮র আগে মরে গেলেও বিয়ে-মুখো হচ্ছিনা। সেটা মা'র second মাথাব্যথা ।

Perspective

One of the joys of having cousins in marriageable age bracket, is that the topic of matrimony websites crop up all too frequently, providing me with some unintentional moments of despair and hilarity.

I will ask for forgiveness from all earnestly nice people out there, who post in such websites. I laugh more at the irony of this situation than at anyone in particular. And to my knowledge, some of these arranged marriages have all worked out really well. Touchwood. And also I laugh at me. Because in reflection, my amusement at the prospect of arranged marriages kind of has resemblance to how a goat would derive amusement at the sight of a slaughter house.

Anyway, back to cousins and matrimonial websites. So we made a spoof girl account, to search an eligible bride for our eldest cousin brother. It makes more sense to make a boy account if you're going to be looking for a bride. But I just couldn't do it. I am not that saintly.Anyway, we gave up trying to help him after the initial few profiles. He's so nitpicky and choosy. The problem is people are so quick to jump at flaws in other people, while being very blatantly myopic about themselves.

That being said, a few days back, I had made and then subsequently deleted a post bemoaning the abundance of "simple boy with a love for canoeing, looking for that simple girl to share life's little joys with". (Yes,I am not sure, if they are looking for a girl to marry or share a bar of chocolate with.)My point was there were not enough complex people. Even if I were being extremely modest, it goes without saying,I consider myself the paragon of wit and all things nice. Ha. So, really I deserve something more complex. Like say, .....ehh...a complex thing. Sorry, literary creativity eludes me at the moment.

So, I was shown a complex profile.Here are some noteworthy mentions :

"I am working as a SAC with a BIG SAP firm in NYC and my younger sister is a fashion designer from NIFT (place) and NID (place) currently working with HUL (place) married to an IIT-(place) and IIM Alumnus.

In my spare time I like to keep track of stocks.

Preferred clothing : Business formals, only leading designer brands will do."

*a moment of silence*

In my spare time, I like to look at funny animal videos...

I really wonder how all of these abbreviations are in anyway conducive to a happy domestic life. Once again, goat to the slaughter house imagery comes to me. I would say lamb to the slaughter. But we're bengalis. We slaughter goats. I am not even sure we have lambs available in the country.

And talking about abbreviations that determine merit, how can I forget the paragon of them all...the NRI's. What a race of supremely talented and meritorious,elitist individuals. I am appalled at how gender biased people can be, when your own relatives say,"We will find you a nice NRI guy just like your sister,you will be so happy then."

One of these days I will probably say something like this :

I dont need a fucking NRI, I am a fucking NRI and I can make my fucking happiness by my fucking self and I don't need anyone else's fucking money for that..........More tea?

Needless to say, right after I say this, I will probably have to put up ads for my own adoption in the classifieds.

Shayeri

Lovely Shayeri that I heard and would like to keep with me :P And it was from Shahrukh Khan in some random interview!! He didn't make it up himself though he did change some of the lines.

kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta
kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta
mujhe aasmaan mila hai, mujhe zameen mili hai
mujhe dost banane nahi aate
banane aate hain toh dost rakhne nahi aate
rakhne aate hain toh woh rehte nahi kabhi kabhi
aur agar rehna chahte hain, to zindagi unhe cheen leti hai

( I am going to try translating this, but nothing kills the sentiments more than amateur translations and Urdu is such a beautiful language, no amount of translating can really do it any justice =\ or so I feel xDD I am passively romantic, in that I like the idea of romance, in theory if you will, in real life,I'd much rather not take a risk )

Here goes:
Sometimes a person doesn't get what he wants,
Either he didn't get Earth to support him or the sky to reach to
I got the sky, I also had the Earth,
But I don't know how to make friends.
Maybe I know how to make friends, but I don't know how to keep them
Or even if I know how to keep them, sometimes they leave me
And sometimes even if they want to stay, life makes us part.
Literal translation. I can't rhyme to save my life. Something in this poem, resonated in me. Corny as that sounds. And I kept thinking about the number of people I really liked at some point of time and yet haven't talked to for years. We just drifted apart slowly. In fact, sometimes I think of this friend I met at some tuition class. I liked her so much , yet try as I might, I cant even remember her name now. Its a mellow regret that crops up every now and then, prompting me to search facebook for ten minutes and then give up and do something else.

P.S : Blogspot, why u no make paragraphs on ur own =/

I would like to scream....

I would have liked to scream when I first wrote this post back in April 2012.
But things change, people change, or else you just mellow down as I have.
And now I will take back everything I said.
Though I don't see any harm in filling up this post with some other crap.
In the new apartment, that I was living in till last month, sharing with one affianced couple and their sister, I really liked the fact that the place was so affordable. And that's all I like about it.
One day, the sister, catches me on the stairs and we start talking of how desi guys make her skin crawl by asking the following questions :
1. Don't you like to party?
2. Do you smoke or drink? or God willing, both? And lets go either smoke and/or drink right now?
3. Do you have a boyfriend?
I listened with a straight face. Her affianced ,currently-living-together-with-the-fiancee brother, had asked me the exact same questions within a week of my arrival.And since then I had had to dodge endless invitations of "hanging out over a drink", suggestive jokes, outright suggestions and the like. Especially at late nights.His fiancee went to bed at 9 pm sharp. Every time this happened I reminded myself how cheap the apartment was.
He even complained , on one occasion, that I always kept myself locked in my room in the meager hours that I did actually spend in that place. Yes, bhaiyya, take a wild guess why ...
I couldn't figure out which one of them I was exasperated at more. The girl who was totally clueless as to the ten thousand things that were wrong with the guy she was about to marry. Or the guy himself, who had the ten thousand faults. Or their sister, who was older than me and somehow more naive than a 5 yr old.
Anyway,his antics escalated and my mom wanted me to get out of there and I was more than happy to oblige. I missed my own house,thank you very much.
My house-leaving party was especially memorable. And this was after the two got married. I left, about a month into their wedding. After the party,the wife, went to sleep at 9, God bless her. The sister went to do some inconsequential thing that has no relation to this story. And the husband, offered to stay up all night and finish the bottle of wine with me ( it had been bought in my honor,so of course it was only right that I stay up to finish it), in my room. A real Bollywood scene setter.
Anyway, I have never been inebriated and never plan on doing so, especially in front of individuals with objectionable intentions. I invented some crap excuse about nausea or ill-health or tiredness..or all three I cant remember and got the hell out of there.His dissappointment was severe.
However, I would like to know what kind of love marriage these two individuals have and how long its going to survive. I wish them all the very best of luck. But, bhaiyya , bhabi and sister, if any one of you ever comes across this blog, this is why I never accept your invitations to anything. Sorry.
On the bright side, bhabi had taught me a fantastic egg recipe that I use frequently now.