I am a bit sick of this.
My Facebook friend list is beginning to look like a dalmatian lovers convention. But you can't say this out loud. People are still mourning the loss of "Amanat" / "Damini" or whatever the new name is, that has been bestowed upon the victim of the Delhi rape case.
The impassioned anger that bubbled forth on social networks following the case, has somewhat died down. Score one for the Indian govt for successfully hoodwinking the nation into thinking they cared.Young people are returning to their normal lives.Though they still pay their respects by adding a "like" to whichever "stop rape.kill the criminals" pictures that is currently doing the rounds. This gesture would have greater effect if they did not, simultaneously , go around liking pics of their favorite shirtless stars or make smart-mouthed comments on the figure of their favorite actresses.
And despite several round of debates on why rape happens, what to do with rapists,how many hours in a day do Indian policemen sleep, no one has been able to come up with any definitive answers.
I don't know the answers either and I realize, that the problem is a bigger ball of yarn than we think or know about.
Here, however, I would like to list some of the things that I really hate about my motherland. Please note the numerical sequence has no relation to the proportion of hatred I have bestowed on each topic.
Our culture
I don't know what the definition of culture is to anyone. But we have done a fine job of holding on to traditions and thus stereotypes. So now, mummies and daddies don't care what their children do, as long as their daughter and daughter-in-laws are as inexperienced as the vestal virgins. Please note I didn't write " as pure as" . Purity is a state of mind. Children lose it as soon as they stop believing in Santa Claus or the first time they say "My dog ate my homework". It has nothing to do with your anatomy or membranes therein.
Our by-stander culture
We are, it seems, a very curious race. We like to ogle at every roadkill on the highway and every little incident in our neighbor's household. It's really not our business but we like to watch then relate it to other people, whose business it also isn't. To say nothing of the fountain of opinions that flow as a result. Case in point the Delhi rape issue. You can hold as many candle light silent vigils or morchas or anything : its good, I'm glad somebody is taking actions for once. But let people know far and wide, that the two severely injured , unclothed victims lay on the road side for more than an hour before any help came. There were bystanders. They by-standed perfectly.
Double standards in our by-stander culture
Intimations from a mother to her daughter :
- Come home before its dark. In fact, let us chaperone you till you reach 50.
- Don't put on make up, short skirts, tight t-shirts.Pretend you are invisible.
- Don't jump around. I won't even explain this one.
- Dont talk to strangers, strange boys, boys that your family doesn't know.Just save us the headache and don't talk to boys at all.
Intimations from a father to his son :
- Come home.
Uneven fault distribution
You will be hard put to find one person with an ounce of responsibility. If something unfortunate happens to someone, its the victim's fault for being unfortunate, the police's fault for being just as normal, human and money-hungry as the rest of us, and the criminal's fault for..God knows..no one talks much about this category. It's never the society's fault for having a screwed up outlook in the first place. It is never the family's fault for somehow instilling acute sense of difference into growing boys and girls. It is nobody's fault that a girl child grows up very aware of the threats in society and how she has, by virtue of her gender, much more to lose, than a boy of her own age, in the event, some unfortunate catastrophe should occur. It is also nobody's fault that despite our puritanical, conservative, shallow-minded attitude, where parents insist they got you as a child from either the stork or the mela, pornography is freely available.
The govt. does its job and sues a film producer every time somebody smokes cigarettes in a film. The audience is influenced with cigarette smoking but of course, nobody takes any lessons home when item songs with the most suggestive and inappropriate body movements are played. That sells.
Like I said, its a bigger yarn of problems than we think. This isn't all. I'm just too lazy , disinterested and apathetic to continue.And that, ladies and gentlemen, covers problems # 4 through 6. Thank you for your time.
My Facebook friend list is beginning to look like a dalmatian lovers convention. But you can't say this out loud. People are still mourning the loss of "Amanat" / "Damini" or whatever the new name is, that has been bestowed upon the victim of the Delhi rape case.
The impassioned anger that bubbled forth on social networks following the case, has somewhat died down. Score one for the Indian govt for successfully hoodwinking the nation into thinking they cared.Young people are returning to their normal lives.Though they still pay their respects by adding a "like" to whichever "stop rape.kill the criminals" pictures that is currently doing the rounds. This gesture would have greater effect if they did not, simultaneously , go around liking pics of their favorite shirtless stars or make smart-mouthed comments on the figure of their favorite actresses.
And despite several round of debates on why rape happens, what to do with rapists,how many hours in a day do Indian policemen sleep, no one has been able to come up with any definitive answers.
I don't know the answers either and I realize, that the problem is a bigger ball of yarn than we think or know about.
Here, however, I would like to list some of the things that I really hate about my motherland. Please note the numerical sequence has no relation to the proportion of hatred I have bestowed on each topic.
Our culture
I don't know what the definition of culture is to anyone. But we have done a fine job of holding on to traditions and thus stereotypes. So now, mummies and daddies don't care what their children do, as long as their daughter and daughter-in-laws are as inexperienced as the vestal virgins. Please note I didn't write " as pure as" . Purity is a state of mind. Children lose it as soon as they stop believing in Santa Claus or the first time they say "My dog ate my homework". It has nothing to do with your anatomy or membranes therein.
Our by-stander culture
We are, it seems, a very curious race. We like to ogle at every roadkill on the highway and every little incident in our neighbor's household. It's really not our business but we like to watch then relate it to other people, whose business it also isn't. To say nothing of the fountain of opinions that flow as a result. Case in point the Delhi rape issue. You can hold as many candle light silent vigils or morchas or anything : its good, I'm glad somebody is taking actions for once. But let people know far and wide, that the two severely injured , unclothed victims lay on the road side for more than an hour before any help came. There were bystanders. They by-standed perfectly.
Double standards in our by-stander culture
Intimations from a mother to her daughter :
- Come home before its dark. In fact, let us chaperone you till you reach 50.
- Don't put on make up, short skirts, tight t-shirts.Pretend you are invisible.
- Don't jump around. I won't even explain this one.
- Dont talk to strangers, strange boys, boys that your family doesn't know.Just save us the headache and don't talk to boys at all.
Intimations from a father to his son :
- Come home.
Uneven fault distribution
You will be hard put to find one person with an ounce of responsibility. If something unfortunate happens to someone, its the victim's fault for being unfortunate, the police's fault for being just as normal, human and money-hungry as the rest of us, and the criminal's fault for..God knows..no one talks much about this category. It's never the society's fault for having a screwed up outlook in the first place. It is never the family's fault for somehow instilling acute sense of difference into growing boys and girls. It is nobody's fault that a girl child grows up very aware of the threats in society and how she has, by virtue of her gender, much more to lose, than a boy of her own age, in the event, some unfortunate catastrophe should occur. It is also nobody's fault that despite our puritanical, conservative, shallow-minded attitude, where parents insist they got you as a child from either the stork or the mela, pornography is freely available.
The govt. does its job and sues a film producer every time somebody smokes cigarettes in a film. The audience is influenced with cigarette smoking but of course, nobody takes any lessons home when item songs with the most suggestive and inappropriate body movements are played. That sells.
Like I said, its a bigger yarn of problems than we think. This isn't all. I'm just too lazy , disinterested and apathetic to continue.And that, ladies and gentlemen, covers problems # 4 through 6. Thank you for your time.
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